Thursday, November 16, 2017

Have Women Been Programmed to Feel Sexually Harassed?

It's a question that has come to my mind off an on, but recently it really has made me wonder. With the recent influx of allegations of sexual harassment from women (and men as well, but this article will focus on women for a reason) and the recent re-installment of the #metoo campaign, sexual harassment is on a lot of people's mind. We can't get away from it, it isn't going to get swept under the rug as it did after the Anita Hill case and so many others like it. So, I want to face it head-on with another look at it.

Sad Woman drawingby RawrImTara

Have women been programmed to feel sexually harassed?

Here's is where this question is coming from;

A couple of days ago, I was in the grocery store, minding my own business, doing my normal shopping, and I kept running into a man dressed in a business suit. When you're grocery shopping, there are times you tend to run into the same person kind of going where you're going, so, after the 3rd or 4th time, you tend to be "shopping buddies" for about 3 seconds. This was my 3rd time running into him, I was about to turn down the same aisle he was rolling past, so, he stopped, smiled, and let me through. 

Before I continue, let me explain what I was wearing to set the next instance and the mental adventure I had. I was wearing jeans and a sweater. The sweater was black, with a skull on a purple, striped background that happened to be centered across my (not so small) breasts. 

Now, back to the story, he stops, gestures for me to turn, smiles, and says, "I like your sweater, it's really cool" I smile back and say "thank you" but, I have to admit my creep radar went up about 5 points. So, here I am, traveling down aisle 8, and I begin to have a barrage of thoughts on him complimenting my sweater.

Why would he do that?
Was he looking at my breasts?
My sweater is a bit tight over my breasts, he wasn't complimenting my sweater.
What a creep looking at my tits like that!
Slump your shoulders a bit, you know they attract too much attention.
God, why did I wear this sweater to the grocery store?
Now I know why I never wear this sweater.
Wait, am I over-reacting?
Maybe he likes skulls?
Maybe he likes the color purple?
Maybe he was just actually giving me a compliment?
Oh god, why am I judging this man?
I'm a terrible person to think badly of a stranger.
What's wrong with me? I judge too quickly.
Great, I'm accusing someone of the "evilness" of being nice.
I'm such an idiot.

Yes, I had that whole conversation in my head from the beginning of aisle 8 till the end of aisle 8. Thank goodness I didn't see him again after that. Who knows where my mind would have gone. 

This brings me back to my questions, Have women been programmed to feel Sexually Harassed? Since I was a child, and I'm sure it's like this for most women, including the sad truth I've done the same to my own daughters, I was told to; "close my legs, my shorts are too short, watch what I say, don't talk to strange men, my skirt is too short, my jeans are too tight, don't be alone with men, go to the bathroom in groups, don't have to many "male" friends, men only have one thing on their mind, don't led men on, not to much eye contact......." on and on it goes, like a merry-go-round you can't stop. Basically, I was being trained to not trust men.

Even writing this, I wonder if I'm sending out the wrong signals? What if a woman reads this, and she rethinks things and trusts a man and he takes advantage of her or worse? They are just thoughts that run through my head because, yes, the #NotAllMen angers me, we know it's not all men, but, again, have we been so programmed over the centuries to feel sexually harassed around every single corner in life? Are we unfair to men to not trust them, or should we stay aware and not fully trust them to keep ourselves safe? What about our sons? Raising boys to become honest men knowing we're raising our daughters to not trust men. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter if for nothing else, to help me get an answer I can feel comfortable with.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

A Simple "Hello" Could Be The Kindest Word You Speak All Day

Do you ever really think about the impact of your words?

As Pagan, one of the first things we are taught is the power of the spoken word, but, do you apply that teaching every day? I'm not judging, because honestly, I know I don't apply it every day, hell, I'm known not to have a filter, but, that "gift" of no filter has caused me some backlash and guilt feelings in my days.

So, again, I ask, do you ever really think about the impact of your words?

I want to brush on one word, a powerful word, a word that can open doors to an incredible amount of information, or open a door to another world, even save a person's life.

illustrator Alex Noriega

That word is, "Hello"


Now, there is one rule to using this magickal word, you have to mean it. If you are just saying it to say it, the power will not be as strong, if the power is even reflected from your lips to the essence of the word. Speaking an empty "Hello" can actually cause harm to not only others but to yourself. If that "Hello" is empty, then what it does is make your soul's doors harder to open, in turn, keeping in the kindness and it starts to rot from lack of oxygen and sunlight. Eventually, the kindness becomes nothing but a mound of waste that only makes the other kindnesses in your soul rot...and so on, and so on. So, in short, your soul becomes a waste mound of rotted and useless kindness.

But, if you mean it, then you have truly touched on a portal that will forever be open to you.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Taking a Leap of Faith - You'll Survive

There is nothing worse than working a job that you hate, being in a relationship that drains you, or doing anything or having anyone around you that pulls you down. Not only is it stressful, but, you have physical, mental, and spiritual changes. I'm going to point out 5 changes of each that happen, but, there is so much more than 5.

Physical:
  1. Gain too much weight/lose too much weight
  2. Eyes sag, become puffy
  3. Fatigue
  4. Skin blemishes
  5. Ulcers

Monday, July 3, 2017

Why Do We Take Sh*t from People?

Author: Adagio_Art
Author URL: https://www.flickr.com/people/adagio_art/
I ask myself that all the time because it happens to all of us. Even I find myself at times just taking people's negativity towards me, degrading me, doing everything they can to build themselves up while bringing me down, and I just "laugh it off" Then, later, I lay in bed and wonder, "Why did I allow for that?"

Let me back up a bit because I want to be very clear on what I mean by taking shit from people. When you feel, in your heart of hearts, that what was said to you what negative, then, yes, it was negative. Sometimes, the ones who say it don't mean it that way, or, they don't know it was hurtful, but it was to you. That's what matters, how it felt to YOU.

Now, why do we take it?

Friday, June 2, 2017

Feeling Defeated, but, I'm NOT Defeated

I'm a little late to the party putting this up on my blog, but, I figured ya'll forgive me.

If not

Fuck it 😁

The other day, when I posted this video, I was feeling like I was failing and trying to reach my dream. It's hard when you have to "adult" on the daily, but, you still want to jump into that world of pure imagination and just live your dream like nothing else matters. People are always putting such inspirational memes out there like;

Friday, May 19, 2017

Addiction & Mental Illness in the Pagan Community

Réfoulement/Depression/Recalcamento (António Pedro, 1936) from Flickr via Wylio
© 2014 Pedro Ribeiro SimĂ”es, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

So many today struggle with demons, addictions, mental illnesses due to stress, food, being overwhelmed, or even genetics. 


Many of those suffering, or living with, however you come to see it, turn to the Pagan community because of our acceptance of all for who they are. It is true, Pagans are an accepting bunch of folk with little expectations except for bettering yourself and accepting responsibility for your own actions. Even though, most Pagans are this accepting, and the Path of the Goddess is filled with enlightenment, there is also that last statement many tend to forget, "accepting responsibility for your own actions".

Monday, May 8, 2017

"I'm fine, really"

I'm fine, really
When you're down, and thinking everything just sucks, it's hard to find out what got you down in the first place. You start replaying things over and over again in your mind and you just can't seem to find the right reason. You just wake up one day, completely defeated, feeling worthless and you find yourself questioning every action you make, every word you speak, all the way down to wondering if you laughed at the right time during a joke.

It sucks when you have those days, and believe me, everyone has those days don't sit there telling yourself you don't. All you're doing is hiding how you feel and that's just not good for anyone...ever. 


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